Michigan League of Academic Games

Propaganda
By Jimmy Mathis

SECTION C: Techniques of Irrelevance. These are arguments that are unimportant, worthless, and have nothing to do with the question being discussed. Because some of theses techniques are closely related and often confusing they have be discussed out of order

0. NO TECHNIQUE
1. APPEARANCE: Judgment based solely on the way something or someone looks.
2. MANOR; Judgment based solely on something or someone's behavior
3. DEGREES AND TITLES; Unrelated degrees and titles used to strengthen an argument
5. STATUS: Associates with the rich and famous (well known people or things)
4. NUMBERS; Uses very large or very small numbers.
6. REPETITION. Repetition is the repeated use of a word.
7. SLOGANS: Catchy phrases.
8. TECHNICAL JARGON; The speaker uses terms they clearly understand but the listener does not.
9. SOPHISTICAL FORMULA: Proverbs, bromides and clichés are usually used to end the statement. The only reason for an occasional confusion with slogan might be that you never heard the saying used before. To avoid this possibility, try to bone up on some of the clichés and proverbs most often quoted in literature, the Bible, or by other literary works.

Winning Tip #1: Watch out for the sneaky No Techniques;
Appearance, and Manner: When you listen to him speaking with that awful lisp, and watch him walk bowlegged down the hall, can you honestly consider him for a spokesperson for our college of refined speech and proper etiquette and decorum?
Degrees and Titles: Our guest, the honorable doctor William Dent, twice elected Orthodontist Pioneer of the year, chairman of the American Dental Association and holder of the esteemed "Golden Tooth" award for five consecutive years will speak to us on "Bracing America's People for Braces."
Numbers: Last year over three million people bought copies of Mr. Mathis’ new book “Propaganda For Real Players”.
Technical Jargon: Mrs. Varner, Mathematics Supervisor for the city of Detroit, speaking at the National Conference of Mathematics: “The new emphasis on multiplicative inverses, and fractals will add more diversity to advanced Algebra”.

Winning Tip #2: When two techniques overlap choose the one that fits in the section being discussed. Here is an example of Hasty Generalization and Appearance
Example; While I drove through Berlin I saw three of the loveliest buildings I've ever beheld. I'm quite certain the Germans have the most beautiful public buildings to be found anywhere in the world.

Lets take a quiz in Section C. Answers will appear next month.
1: Why bother reading a book that hasn't sold twenty copies yet?
2: Buy new Reptile Wax for your car, made safer and surer for your cars protection by the use of biodegradable miracle agent Q-49.
3: You can tell that she's probably got something to hide by the way she acts: "The Lady doth protest too much methinks
4: Use Mentadent tooth floss: You'll wonder where the tartar went, when you floss your tooth with Mentadent!
5: Charles's a klutz who can hardly take two steps without tripping. He walks like he's got his laces tied together all the time. I wouldn't even consider hiring him to work in a laboratory where there will be dozens of flasks of volatile liquids including the likes of nitroglycerin'
6: This latest collection of designer Jams was put together by none other than Pierre Jardash, the most renowned name in loud clothes. It will be made available to the public for purchase next month.
7: "Start your day with Start, start breakfast, start supper, start work, and start anything at all with start. If you want to get off to a good start,. get Start.
8: Look at those clothes, and that sloppy hair. How can you believe anything he says?
9: This book must be something else. It was written by the Archduke of someplace, and has been edited by two Ph.D.'s and contains an introduction by the Imperial High Counselor of the order of the moose.
10: Science fiction buff speaking to a child who is reading a novel for younger readers. "Ha!, what baby stuff, I bet you couldn't even tell me the difference between a Niven type Brussard Ram Jet, or the Asimov prototype of Hyperspace drive.
11: He's one of those trouble makers always shouting about animal's rights. How can you even consider him for executive vice-president?

Last month's Propaganda Primer